How we wish we were like the birds
Automatically soaring high in the skies
With struggles unheard
Paired with cheerful goodbyes
But, with determination as our wings
We’ll take flight and soar
And with dreams as our sling
We could fly even more
Let go of your fear,
Take flight my dear.
I’m currently on a book hangover.
If there’s such thing as that. Hehe.
I could see a part of myself in Lara Jean’s character in Jenny Han’s book, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.
I love how books put into words what we can’t say. How they relate to us like real people.
I really admire writers because they have THAT gift of talking to a billion people with their words, with their stories.
There will always be that one book that you could somehow relate to, as if you’re reading your life in a book written by someone who doesn’t even know you.
Here are a few of my favorite lines from Jenny Han’s book:
"It wouldn’t kill you to get out of your comfort zone a little bit, you should give people a chance to know you."
"But the little things are what makes up life."
"You only like guys you don’t have a shot with because you’re scared. What are you so afraid of?"
"Because sometimes you just feel sad and you can’t explain it."
"I think I see the difference now, between loving someone from a far and loving someone up close. When you see them up close, you see the real them, but they also get to see the real you."
"Life doesn’t have to be so planned. Just roll with it and let it happen."
"What must it be like to have a boy like you so much, he cries for you?"
"I just don’t what you to wait too long and have all the good placements go to other people."
"I don’t think relationships are just about physicality. There are ways to show you care about someone, not just using your lips."
Oops. I think this isn’t ‘few’. Don’t want to be a spoiler. :)
There is a Lara Jean in everyone of us. A Peter. A Josh. A Margot. A Kitty. A Genevieve. and more.
I dream to become a writer/novelist one day, and make an impact to my future readers. Let’s see. :)
P.S. and in the future I’d really be glad to have a man who’ll never get bored with someone like me who always talks about books and tje characters I read in them. hehe
last Sunday, i was watching powerhouse while reviewing. the guests were female personalities succesful in their chosen businesses. the first one’s cathy valencia who pursued her passion for beauty and wellness. then there’s charisse tinio of niceprint who pursued her love for photography.
i was so inspired…and challenged by them. i admired their courage and guts to go for their dreams. something i lack.
they figured out their passion, then they pursued it.
"figure out your passion. pursue it. and you won’t have to work a single day in your life."
what was mine?
i can’t give a definite answer.
but, i want to settle in a career related to arts,film,travel. anything that has to do with creativity. one where the gifts i know i have could be used into full potential.
this afternoon, my heart and my mind felt confused and heavy. the thought of leaving my present job came to mind again.
am i in the right direction?
am i in the right path to where i should be?
should i finally let go?
is it time to listen to myself now?
for more than a year, i have been trying to wait a little more…wait for change. wait to be finally ‘officially’ assigned to the ‘unofficial’ job that i excel in and that one that i really enjoy doing. but, it’s already been more than a year and nothing has changed.
when should the waiting end?
i am still in a job that i have taught myself to love, learn, and learn and learn. everyday it gets harder and harder.
i feel like a bird swimming instead of flying. trying instead of thriving.
my plans for myself aren’t so much clear for now. but i pray that if they were not God’s plans for me, He would redirect me to His will.
despite all this questions and confusions, i am still blessed that because of Jesus i can come to God through prayer anywhere, and anytime.
as opposed to what other people think, being a christian isn’t all bed of roses…but, it is much lighter because i would never have to walk this life alone. and that this life on earth is plain temporary including the hardships, struggles, etc. but with Jesus, i can look forward to an eternal future. heaven.spilling this feelings made me feel better. hehehe. oh emotional hormones.
here i am who’s about to sleep when suddenly some thoughts barged in. i was checking on one of the social media sites when i saw a friend’s post. it was a message from someone special she met way back college. a mentor. a coach.
it struck me. i looked back to my past as if i was trying to search someone from there. a mentor. a coach. an adviser. well, some people besides my parents.someone like them that sticked til the present. and to my dismay, there was none. surely, i met some but i think they just stayed in the past.
it kinda broke my heart. and i felt a pinch of sadness in my skin.
then i realized, what could be the problem?
maybe just maybe i had built walls that are partially open. maybe i hadn’t let anyone come to close. maybe i wasn’t just too comfortable to easily open up to others. or maybe i was just too afraid to totally open up.
or maybe no one just made an effort to break the walls that i built.
i don’t know.
i’m not really sure why.
but now, i had put the walls down a bit. i think finally being part of a discipleship group in church helped so much. i’m blessed that God has blessed me with people who i can share my life with. people i know who could inspire me and help me achieve a life that God wants for me.
i liked how suddenly this supposedly sad spontaneous post had a good ending.
no work today slash absent today means more time to read, reflect, and review for the upcoming LET and do a little laundry. while i was studying this afternoon, i was so worried because my memory fails me. everything i studied before seemed to dissolve. i can’t focus on studying. worry and doubt filled my mind little by little. how can i pass the board exam? self review na nga lang ako, para pa akong may amnesia. my knowledge was never enough. and it looks like it would never be enough.
i feel like giving up already.
then as of this writing, i remembered a passage from matthew 6 i’ve read this morning, “seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. and all these things shall be added unto you.”
true enough. more than anything i should seek Him first.
i can’t do things by myself. i can’t rely ONLY on my own strength. i need Him. Him first.
then this evening, my mom was asking for worship song suggestions as she was playing some on youtube. i suggested kari jobe’s steady my heart. while i was listening, a few lines struck me.
“I’m not gonna worry, I know that You’ve got me right inside the palm of your hand.”
ugh. it sank through me, and little by little, it steadied my heart. :’)
and in that note, i changed my lappy’s wallpaper with this,
to whoever that might read this, please pray for me for the upcoming LET this 17th of august. thank youuuuuuu.